A New Year...

It happened. Another year gone. Another year in the record books.

2013 was a year of ups and downs...good and bad...but, aren't they all?

A lesson I am learning is how to look at the past. I can choose to focus on the good, the wonderful, the fun, the amazing.

Or I can choose to focus on the bad, the negative, the sad.

I choose good. I choose amazing. I choose fun.

I choose to plow into 2014 the most positive I have ever been. The most active I have ever been. The most confident I have ever been. Fun loving, caring, excited, and free.

Someone once told me that nobody "makes" me mad...or sad...or any other emotion for that matter. It is a choice I make. I choose to let someone get to me so much that I become angry. I choose to let someone hurt me and I become sad.

On the flipside, I can choose to let someone in to my crazy world. I choose to love their goofiness...their nerdiness...their silliness, their wild side. I can chose to be happy and embrace all that is them.

I can let myself go and laugh with them. I can sing, even if they don't sing with me. I will dance, even if I'm the only one on the dance floor.

I will love the parts of them that maybe they think are weird, strange, or unimportant. I will love all of them, because those "weird" quirks are what makes each and every one of us special.

In the end, it doesn't matter. People won't remember if they heard me sing and it was horrendous. They won't remember if I screwed up the dance moves on the dance floor. What matters is that I was me...I didn't pretend to be something I'm not.

I let my "band geek" shine...


2014, listen up...You will not tell me what to do, what I can or cannot do. I dictate how this is going to go...

I will smile.
I will laugh.
I will love.
I will care.

I will dance.
I will sing.

I will find me.
I will experience life.
I will see new places.
I will meet new people.

I will get crazy.
I will do things by myself.
I will try something new.

I will love myself.

She's strong...

I don't really know where I'm going with this...

I wish people knew the power of their words...to lift up...to bring down...to put a smile on someone's face...or make a tear fall...

Those words cannot be taken back.

There are no do-overs.

Once they come out of your mouth, it is done. You have either filled someone's heart or ripped it to shreds.

It is not easy forgetting words that were said, good or bad. The good ones you don't ever want to forget...the bad ones you wish you could.

Maybe that is why I am so quiet. I know how much words can hurt, and I don't want to make the mistake of saying something that could potentially break someone's heart.

I'm not perfect. I have never claimed to be. I will make mistakes. I will fall down. BUT, I will get back up. I will brush the dirt off. I will keep going, with or without you.

Along the way, I will remember that behind someone's smile may be a breaking heart. Behind that toughness may be a frightened individual who just wants someone to walk with them. Behind that quiet persona may be someone wishing they could just scream, or cry...but they are trying to be strong...for someone else.

They could be hoping...praying...for a word. A kind word. A non-judgmental word.

A word...it can be a game-changer...

My Weirdness - Who Am I...Part 2

I've come to realize that what I remember about a person is not their "normal" traits. Brown hair, brown eyes, size ___...those are boring. Many other people have the exact same traits.

What I remember are the weird ones. The things about a person that makes you tilt you head and say, "What?"

Those traits are what distinguishes a person, and what makes them wonderfully lovable.

Here are a few of mine:

1. I hate airplanes. Just looking at one brings up a feeling of terror so strong that I feel like I am in a horror movie. I like my feet on the ground. I like having some control. I will fly, if I have to. But be prepared if you travel with me...I need a steady stream of Xanax and alcohol, or you will be sitting next to a hyperventilating freakoid.

2. I love to sing. In my head, I sound like a Grammy award winning, multi-platinum artist. In real life, I don't know...I sing in my truck with the radio blaring...alone. Do not expect me to ever sing at a Karaoke bar - probably won't ever happen.

3. I'm a bit of a klutz. Those who know me well know this. If there is a hole in the ground, I will find it. If there is a parking sign in front of me, I will walk right into it (true story for another post). My bestest friend in the world and I finally were able to meet our favorite boy band ever - NKOTB. Right before we walked into the room, her words to me were, "Lisa, if you trip and fall when we walk in there I will kick your ass". That's why I love her so...

4. I typically have to buy grocery items in multiples of two. I have tried to buy just one item. I have tried to buy three. But I just can't. It doesn't feel right. I realized this one day as I looked in my cart and found two, four, six of the items I was about to purchase. I was frightened for a bit, truly.

5. Public restrooms scare me. Not all, just some. Gas stations? Not for me - unless it looks worthy. Fast food restaurants? Sometimes. I have been known to "hold it" for hours until I find a place I deem acceptable.

6. I'm gullible. Maybe too trusting would be a better word. You could tell me anything and I would tend to believe you.

7. I'm a sap. Commercials, music videos, movies...they can all very easily tug at my heart and I cry. I can cry at the drop of a hat. Cartoons? Yup...bawl like a baby.

8. I enjoy driving vehicles...not necessarily riding in them. You see, here is where the control issue comes into play again. I have been known to have mild panic attacks while riding in a vehicle on long trips. See #1 for remedies (Xanax...alcohol...).

9. Seafood...barf. 'Nuff said...

10. To quote Buddy the Elf..."I like smiling...smiling's my favorite"...