It happened. Another year gone. Another year in the record books.
2013 was a year of ups and downs...good and bad...but, aren't they all?
A lesson I am learning is how to look at the past. I can choose to focus on the good, the wonderful, the fun, the amazing.
Or I can choose to focus on the bad, the negative, the sad.
I choose good. I choose amazing. I choose fun.
I choose to plow into 2014 the most positive I have ever been. The most active I have ever been. The most confident I have ever been. Fun loving, caring, excited, and free.
Someone once told me that nobody "makes" me mad...or sad...or any other emotion for that matter. It is a choice I make. I choose to let someone get to me so much that I become angry. I choose to let someone hurt me and I become sad.
On the flipside, I can choose to let someone in to my crazy world. I choose to love their goofiness...their nerdiness...their silliness, their wild side. I can chose to be happy and embrace all that is them.
I can let myself go and laugh with them. I can sing, even if they don't sing with me. I will dance, even if I'm the only one on the dance floor.
I will love the parts of them that maybe they think are weird, strange, or unimportant. I will love all of them, because those "weird" quirks are what makes each and every one of us special.
In the end, it doesn't matter. People won't remember if they heard me sing and it was horrendous. They won't remember if I screwed up the dance moves on the dance floor. What matters is that I was me...I didn't pretend to be something I'm not.
I let my "band geek" shine...
2014, listen up...You will not tell me what to do, what I can or cannot do. I dictate how this is going to go...
I will smile.
I will laugh.
I will love.
I will care.
I will dance.
I will sing.
I will find me.
I will experience life.
I will see new places.
I will meet new people.
I will get crazy.
I will do things by myself.
I will try something new.
I will love myself.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
She's strong...
I don't really know where I'm going with this...
I wish people knew the power of their words...to lift up...to bring down...to put a smile on someone's face...or make a tear fall...
Those words cannot be taken back.
There are no do-overs.
Once they come out of your mouth, it is done. You have either filled someone's heart or ripped it to shreds.
It is not easy forgetting words that were said, good or bad. The good ones you don't ever want to forget...the bad ones you wish you could.
Maybe that is why I am so quiet. I know how much words can hurt, and I don't want to make the mistake of saying something that could potentially break someone's heart.
I'm not perfect. I have never claimed to be. I will make mistakes. I will fall down. BUT, I will get back up. I will brush the dirt off. I will keep going, with or without you.
Along the way, I will remember that behind someone's smile may be a breaking heart. Behind that toughness may be a frightened individual who just wants someone to walk with them. Behind that quiet persona may be someone wishing they could just scream, or cry...but they are trying to be strong...for someone else.
They could be hoping...praying...for a word. A kind word. A non-judgmental word.
A word...it can be a game-changer...
I wish people knew the power of their words...to lift up...to bring down...to put a smile on someone's face...or make a tear fall...
Those words cannot be taken back.
There are no do-overs.
Once they come out of your mouth, it is done. You have either filled someone's heart or ripped it to shreds.
It is not easy forgetting words that were said, good or bad. The good ones you don't ever want to forget...the bad ones you wish you could.
Maybe that is why I am so quiet. I know how much words can hurt, and I don't want to make the mistake of saying something that could potentially break someone's heart.
I'm not perfect. I have never claimed to be. I will make mistakes. I will fall down. BUT, I will get back up. I will brush the dirt off. I will keep going, with or without you.
Along the way, I will remember that behind someone's smile may be a breaking heart. Behind that toughness may be a frightened individual who just wants someone to walk with them. Behind that quiet persona may be someone wishing they could just scream, or cry...but they are trying to be strong...for someone else.
They could be hoping...praying...for a word. A kind word. A non-judgmental word.
A word...it can be a game-changer...
Monday, December 2, 2013
My Weirdness - Who Am I...Part 2
I've come to realize that what I remember about a person is not their "normal" traits. Brown hair, brown eyes, size ___...those are boring. Many other people have the exact same traits.
What I remember are the weird ones. The things about a person that makes you tilt you head and say, "What?"
Those traits are what distinguishes a person, and what makes them wonderfully lovable.
Here are a few of mine:
1. I hate airplanes. Just looking at one brings up a feeling of terror so strong that I feel like I am in a horror movie. I like my feet on the ground. I like having some control. I will fly, if I have to. But be prepared if you travel with me...I need a steady stream of Xanax and alcohol, or you will be sitting next to a hyperventilating freakoid.
2. I love to sing. In my head, I sound like a Grammy award winning, multi-platinum artist. In real life, I don't know...I sing in my truck with the radio blaring...alone. Do not expect me to ever sing at a Karaoke bar - probably won't ever happen.
3. I'm a bit of a klutz. Those who know me well know this. If there is a hole in the ground, I will find it. If there is a parking sign in front of me, I will walk right into it (true story for another post). My bestest friend in the world and I finally were able to meet our favorite boy band ever - NKOTB. Right before we walked into the room, her words to me were, "Lisa, if you trip and fall when we walk in there I will kick your ass". That's why I love her so...
4. I typically have to buy grocery items in multiples of two. I have tried to buy just one item. I have tried to buy three. But I just can't. It doesn't feel right. I realized this one day as I looked in my cart and found two, four, six of the items I was about to purchase. I was frightened for a bit, truly.
5. Public restrooms scare me. Not all, just some. Gas stations? Not for me - unless it looks worthy. Fast food restaurants? Sometimes. I have been known to "hold it" for hours until I find a place I deem acceptable.
6. I'm gullible. Maybe too trusting would be a better word. You could tell me anything and I would tend to believe you.
7. I'm a sap. Commercials, music videos, movies...they can all very easily tug at my heart and I cry. I can cry at the drop of a hat. Cartoons? Yup...bawl like a baby.
8. I enjoy driving vehicles...not necessarily riding in them. You see, here is where the control issue comes into play again. I have been known to have mild panic attacks while riding in a vehicle on long trips. See #1 for remedies (Xanax...alcohol...).
9. Seafood...barf. 'Nuff said...
10. To quote Buddy the Elf..."I like smiling...smiling's my favorite"...
What I remember are the weird ones. The things about a person that makes you tilt you head and say, "What?"
Those traits are what distinguishes a person, and what makes them wonderfully lovable.
Here are a few of mine:
1. I hate airplanes. Just looking at one brings up a feeling of terror so strong that I feel like I am in a horror movie. I like my feet on the ground. I like having some control. I will fly, if I have to. But be prepared if you travel with me...I need a steady stream of Xanax and alcohol, or you will be sitting next to a hyperventilating freakoid.
2. I love to sing. In my head, I sound like a Grammy award winning, multi-platinum artist. In real life, I don't know...I sing in my truck with the radio blaring...alone. Do not expect me to ever sing at a Karaoke bar - probably won't ever happen.
3. I'm a bit of a klutz. Those who know me well know this. If there is a hole in the ground, I will find it. If there is a parking sign in front of me, I will walk right into it (true story for another post). My bestest friend in the world and I finally were able to meet our favorite boy band ever - NKOTB. Right before we walked into the room, her words to me were, "Lisa, if you trip and fall when we walk in there I will kick your ass". That's why I love her so...
4. I typically have to buy grocery items in multiples of two. I have tried to buy just one item. I have tried to buy three. But I just can't. It doesn't feel right. I realized this one day as I looked in my cart and found two, four, six of the items I was about to purchase. I was frightened for a bit, truly.
5. Public restrooms scare me. Not all, just some. Gas stations? Not for me - unless it looks worthy. Fast food restaurants? Sometimes. I have been known to "hold it" for hours until I find a place I deem acceptable.
6. I'm gullible. Maybe too trusting would be a better word. You could tell me anything and I would tend to believe you.
7. I'm a sap. Commercials, music videos, movies...they can all very easily tug at my heart and I cry. I can cry at the drop of a hat. Cartoons? Yup...bawl like a baby.
8. I enjoy driving vehicles...not necessarily riding in them. You see, here is where the control issue comes into play again. I have been known to have mild panic attacks while riding in a vehicle on long trips. See #1 for remedies (Xanax...alcohol...).
9. Seafood...barf. 'Nuff said...
10. To quote Buddy the Elf..."I like smiling...smiling's my favorite"...
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Who Am I...Part 1
I must state the obvious first...
I'm a wife.
I'm a mommy.
I'm a daughter and a sister.
Those are easy.
What about the little things? What about the quirks that make me, well, "me"? Hold on tight...you're in for quite a ride...
I'm Singing...
I'm sure you've all seen me (or someone like me) at a stop sign somewhere. At first glance you might think, "Wow...is she okay? Is she yelling at someone? Is she having a seizure? Do I need to call 911?"
No, it's okay - I'm just singing. I love music. All kinds. Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. It fills my soul with such wonderful things. Some things I can explain. Some I cannot. Some I do not want anyone to know. Some I want to shout from the rooftops.
A song can bring out all sorts of emotions, memories, and can absolutely heighten my senses. I heard a song this morning while in the car that instantly took me back to my high school years. It was like I was physically there; I could smell certain scents. I could literally "feel" what I felt 20 years ago. I don't know many things that can transport you back in time like music can.
There is beauty in all music - sometimes it is obvious, sometimes you have to search for it. Country, rock, rap, instrumental - it all tells a story. If you shut your eyes all music can transport you to places you have been or places you imagine you will go someday.
It can inspire.
It can melt your heart.
It can anger or sadden.
Sometimes it can just make you smile.
It can pump you up -
"I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar." - Katy Perry
As I write this, these lyrics are on repeat in my head (and I'm sure will be for quite some time). I haven't figured out yet if my affinity for this song has a meaning or a purpose in my life, or if I just plain like it. I can't wait to find out!
Rawrrrr....
...to be continued...
I'm a wife.
I'm a mommy.
I'm a daughter and a sister.
Those are easy.
What about the little things? What about the quirks that make me, well, "me"? Hold on tight...you're in for quite a ride...
I'm Singing...
I'm sure you've all seen me (or someone like me) at a stop sign somewhere. At first glance you might think, "Wow...is she okay? Is she yelling at someone? Is she having a seizure? Do I need to call 911?"
No, it's okay - I'm just singing. I love music. All kinds. Music has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. It fills my soul with such wonderful things. Some things I can explain. Some I cannot. Some I do not want anyone to know. Some I want to shout from the rooftops.
A song can bring out all sorts of emotions, memories, and can absolutely heighten my senses. I heard a song this morning while in the car that instantly took me back to my high school years. It was like I was physically there; I could smell certain scents. I could literally "feel" what I felt 20 years ago. I don't know many things that can transport you back in time like music can.
There is beauty in all music - sometimes it is obvious, sometimes you have to search for it. Country, rock, rap, instrumental - it all tells a story. If you shut your eyes all music can transport you to places you have been or places you imagine you will go someday.
It can inspire.
It can melt your heart.
It can anger or sadden.
Sometimes it can just make you smile.
It can pump you up -
"I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar." - Katy Perry
As I write this, these lyrics are on repeat in my head (and I'm sure will be for quite some time). I haven't figured out yet if my affinity for this song has a meaning or a purpose in my life, or if I just plain like it. I can't wait to find out!
Rawrrrr....
...to be continued...
Sunday, July 7, 2013
A Day in the Life of a Showman (and their family)
I've come to realize lately that many people do not understand what it takes to show an animal. I was there. I grew up in town. The closest thing to livestock I owned was my dog...Muffy.
It's not easy, and it never ends. It's every day, from the time you wean the calf until the day you are done showing it. The calf may only go to one show all year, or it may go to 20. It doesn't matter. The work is the same. It still needs to get done.
We may not make it to every family gathering, birthday party, church event, or sporting event, but this is what we live for. We love it. There are moments when it would be easier to throw in the towel and be done. We could be like other families and spend time at the pool, take a vacation, or go fishing. But the thought is fleeting...and we get right back to work.
Here it is...our day...in a nutshell...
5:30 am - Wake up
6:00 am - Halter calf and take for a walk; put calf (or calves) in cooler room
**For those that don't know, a cooler room is an air-conditioned room for your calf. They stay there during the summer months during the heat of the day. This prevents hair loss, producing the "Fluffy Cow" look**
6:30 am - Feed calf (or calves) in cooler
7:30 am - Feed sheep and other animals
8:00 am - Walk sheep
9:00 am - Wash calves
10:00 am - Work on breaking new calves
12:00 - Wash calves
1:00 Random chores and/or break time, depending on the heat
4:00 - Wash calves
5:30 - Feed sheep and calves
7:00 - Feed calf (or calves) in cooler
10:00 pm - Let calf (or calves) out of cooler, depending on the temperature. If it is a very hot day, it may not be until midnight.
Why do we do this? For our girls...
For the smiles...
For a chance...
At a win...
Ultimately, it is all about our family time together...
It's not easy, and it never ends. It's every day, from the time you wean the calf until the day you are done showing it. The calf may only go to one show all year, or it may go to 20. It doesn't matter. The work is the same. It still needs to get done.
We may not make it to every family gathering, birthday party, church event, or sporting event, but this is what we live for. We love it. There are moments when it would be easier to throw in the towel and be done. We could be like other families and spend time at the pool, take a vacation, or go fishing. But the thought is fleeting...and we get right back to work.
Here it is...our day...in a nutshell...
5:30 am - Wake up
6:00 am - Halter calf and take for a walk; put calf (or calves) in cooler room
**For those that don't know, a cooler room is an air-conditioned room for your calf. They stay there during the summer months during the heat of the day. This prevents hair loss, producing the "Fluffy Cow" look**
6:30 am - Feed calf (or calves) in cooler
7:30 am - Feed sheep and other animals
8:00 am - Walk sheep
9:00 am - Wash calves
10:00 am - Work on breaking new calves
12:00 - Wash calves
1:00 Random chores and/or break time, depending on the heat
4:00 - Wash calves
5:30 - Feed sheep and calves
7:00 - Feed calf (or calves) in cooler
10:00 pm - Let calf (or calves) out of cooler, depending on the temperature. If it is a very hot day, it may not be until midnight.
Why do we do this? For our girls...
For the smiles...
For a chance...
At a win...
Ultimately, it is all about our family time together...
Monday, July 1, 2013
Our four legged friends...
We've had cats...
and cows...
and sheep...
Now, for whatever reason (I must be a glutton for punishment) we have decided to add to our family of four-legged friends. Meet Bubba...
Bubba is a Lab / Pyrenees mix with so much energy I can't even explain. He's wonderful. He's lovable. He's ours. He's super smart - he's already learned to "sit", "shake", and to tell us when he needs to go outside. I love him.
We've spent every hour of every day trying to figure out Bubba's mind. Sometimes we can tell exactly what he's thinking... (I really like chewing on this bone)
Most times we have no idea. We have, however, figured out some things about him.
He sleeps a lot, but only after he's played as hard as he could.
He LOVES his treats.
He LOVES chicken flavored raw-hide chews.
He is very interested in the cows and sheep.
He's not sure what to think of the cats, and they aren't too sure what to think of him.
He's fascinated with dried poop.
Bubba won't be satisfied until he has "marked" every square inch of our 8 acre acreage.
When he sleeps, he is the cutest puppy around...
I love our Bubba!
and cows...
and sheep...
Now, for whatever reason (I must be a glutton for punishment) we have decided to add to our family of four-legged friends. Meet Bubba...
Bubba is a Lab / Pyrenees mix with so much energy I can't even explain. He's wonderful. He's lovable. He's ours. He's super smart - he's already learned to "sit", "shake", and to tell us when he needs to go outside. I love him.
We've spent every hour of every day trying to figure out Bubba's mind. Sometimes we can tell exactly what he's thinking... (I really like chewing on this bone)
Most times we have no idea. We have, however, figured out some things about him.
He sleeps a lot, but only after he's played as hard as he could.
He LOVES his treats.
He LOVES chicken flavored raw-hide chews.
He is very interested in the cows and sheep.
He's not sure what to think of the cats, and they aren't too sure what to think of him.
He's fascinated with dried poop.
Bubba won't be satisfied until he has "marked" every square inch of our 8 acre acreage.
When he sleeps, he is the cutest puppy around...
I love our Bubba!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Baaaa...baaaa....
I love our cattle. I really do. I love the babies in the spring time - it is my absolute favorite time of year.
He's talking to me...I just know it.
They all have their own special personalities. Some are loving; almost like a pet. Others are quite spunky, and some are curious. Some, well, they are a combination.
This little guy is all three. He's the sweetest of all the steers, but he's a tad bit curious, which I'm afraid will get him in trouble one of these days.
I love our cattle, but I have also developed a love for another creature. So simple they are. So curious they are. I love them.
Sheep.
Yes, sheep.
How can you not love these little, woolly creatures? They are much like humans. When they aren't sure of something, or someone, they hide.
But then they peek...because they are curious.
They can't do anything by themselves or they panic. They have to go in pairs (kind of like women going to the bathroom).
When they figure out you are trustworthy (and that you are the two-legged sheep that brings them their food), then they love you. They want to play. They try to chew on anything and everything. They stare...
I don't know if it is their cute, fuzzy faces, or their likeness to humans that I love more. It doesn't matter. I just love them. And they love me...and my camera...
He's talking to me...I just know it.
They all have their own special personalities. Some are loving; almost like a pet. Others are quite spunky, and some are curious. Some, well, they are a combination.
This little guy is all three. He's the sweetest of all the steers, but he's a tad bit curious, which I'm afraid will get him in trouble one of these days.
I love our cattle, but I have also developed a love for another creature. So simple they are. So curious they are. I love them.
Sheep.
Yes, sheep.
How can you not love these little, woolly creatures? They are much like humans. When they aren't sure of something, or someone, they hide.
But then they peek...because they are curious.
They can't do anything by themselves or they panic. They have to go in pairs (kind of like women going to the bathroom).
When they figure out you are trustworthy (and that you are the two-legged sheep that brings them their food), then they love you. They want to play. They try to chew on anything and everything. They stare...
I don't know if it is their cute, fuzzy faces, or their likeness to humans that I love more. It doesn't matter. I just love them. And they love me...and my camera...
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Oklahoma Strong
I had an idea for my next post...cute, lots of pictures, and very random. In the midst of my brainstorming, the unthinkable happened. An EF4 tornado ripped through Moore, Oklahoma.
When I first heard the news, I was very concerned...my in-laws and nephews live south of Oklahoma City. When my panicked, online searching provided me with the answer I was looking for (their town was not affected), I was immediately relieved. However, when pictures started pouring in of the devastation in Moore, my heart was heavy.
I pray for the people who lost homes...
I pray for the people who lost loved ones...
I pray for the little children who perished in the elementary school...
I thank God for the heroism of ordinary people - many lives were saved because of them...
I thank God for the police, firefighters, EMT's, and health care workers...
On a personal note, I thank God for the selflessness of my brother-in-law, Tom, who at 9:00 last night drove to Moore to help. He helped as a fireman, as a doctor, and as a father and husband. I'm proud of you Tom, and I'm proud to call you family.
When I first heard the news, I was very concerned...my in-laws and nephews live south of Oklahoma City. When my panicked, online searching provided me with the answer I was looking for (their town was not affected), I was immediately relieved. However, when pictures started pouring in of the devastation in Moore, my heart was heavy.
I pray for the people who lost homes...
I pray for the people who lost loved ones...
I pray for the little children who perished in the elementary school...
I thank God for the heroism of ordinary people - many lives were saved because of them...
I thank God for the police, firefighters, EMT's, and health care workers...
On a personal note, I thank God for the selflessness of my brother-in-law, Tom, who at 9:00 last night drove to Moore to help. He helped as a fireman, as a doctor, and as a father and husband. I'm proud of you Tom, and I'm proud to call you family.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Spring Planting
It's spring...animals are having babies, trees are budding, the grass is green, and the tractors are running. Full speed. As many other farm wives can attest, we take second (sometimes third or fourth) fiddle to the seed salesman, mechanics, and the dirt. It's okay...It's only for a short while, and to be honest, I love it. I wish I knew more about planting so I could be out there with him. My farmer. My husband. My life. But, someone has to keep the home fires burning, take care of the kids, and feed the family (including hired men). I am happy to accept that challenge.
A challenge it can be. There are no such things as plans. They get thrown out with every rain shower, hail storm, or string of warm, sunny days. Even heading out to the field to feed my husband can turn into an hour long event. Take last night for example. I had no major meal planned, as I was subbing at the school yesterday. Pizza it was - my back up plan. I hopped into my truck and headed to the field.
As I was only planning on delivering food I did not dress for anything more. I had on my sweats, t-shirt, and flip-flops. Not ordinary field wear. My farmer stopped, turned around, and said, "I need to fill the planter". For those that don't know, that really means "you and I" are going to fill the planter. So I wade through the freshly planted dirt (which feels amazing between my toes), start the seed tender and watch my farmer fill the planter. In short time he was finished, I gave him his supper, and I was on my way to feed our friend, our hired man for a few days, Tim. But wait...
My farmer is almost done with the beans at our home farm, so my next instructions were to wait for him at the south farm after I fed Tim. Okay - called my girls, informed them of the new "plan", and I was on my way. I cranked the radio in my Ford truck and sang my little heart out! I love that time by myself. I can sing as loud as I want, and nobody can hear me - it's amazing!
I arrived at our south farm, and to my delight a golden eagle was flying overhead! My girls call me the "bird stalker". I love them. All of them.
This isn't the eagle...it's our blue jay. I just really like this picture.
I waited for a while, and then my farmer called...I went TOO far south. So I drove BACK to where Tim was...in the middle of a field. You know what that means - 4-wheelin'! There's nothing quite like clicking into 4-wheel drive and plowing through a field. Especially when there are no tracks to follow - I just made my own. Kind of like life. :-)
Back to my farmer...he says the sweetest things. He looked me in the eyes last night while we were filling the planter and says, "I'm glad you're not a priss...you're a farm woman".
Melt my heart...
A challenge it can be. There are no such things as plans. They get thrown out with every rain shower, hail storm, or string of warm, sunny days. Even heading out to the field to feed my husband can turn into an hour long event. Take last night for example. I had no major meal planned, as I was subbing at the school yesterday. Pizza it was - my back up plan. I hopped into my truck and headed to the field.
As I was only planning on delivering food I did not dress for anything more. I had on my sweats, t-shirt, and flip-flops. Not ordinary field wear. My farmer stopped, turned around, and said, "I need to fill the planter". For those that don't know, that really means "you and I" are going to fill the planter. So I wade through the freshly planted dirt (which feels amazing between my toes), start the seed tender and watch my farmer fill the planter. In short time he was finished, I gave him his supper, and I was on my way to feed our friend, our hired man for a few days, Tim. But wait...
My farmer is almost done with the beans at our home farm, so my next instructions were to wait for him at the south farm after I fed Tim. Okay - called my girls, informed them of the new "plan", and I was on my way. I cranked the radio in my Ford truck and sang my little heart out! I love that time by myself. I can sing as loud as I want, and nobody can hear me - it's amazing!
I arrived at our south farm, and to my delight a golden eagle was flying overhead! My girls call me the "bird stalker". I love them. All of them.
This isn't the eagle...it's our blue jay. I just really like this picture.
I waited for a while, and then my farmer called...I went TOO far south. So I drove BACK to where Tim was...in the middle of a field. You know what that means - 4-wheelin'! There's nothing quite like clicking into 4-wheel drive and plowing through a field. Especially when there are no tracks to follow - I just made my own. Kind of like life. :-)
Back to my farmer...he says the sweetest things. He looked me in the eyes last night while we were filling the planter and says, "I'm glad you're not a priss...you're a farm woman".
Melt my heart...
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